Seeds of Hope

Adolescent skin is taut.  The adolescent's words split, slice and test, as they battle in the birthing canal from child to adult.  We must bend in their storm, but sometimes I think I might break and ruin everything!  It is then that we look back and remember all the good seeds we've planted, by God's grace, will someday bear fruit.  Hope is our fuel to carry on and never give up.  Parenting mustn't be examined through the magnifying glass of the moment.  If there is any lesson we've learned in twenty-four years of raising children, it is that we must step back from the rough moments, hours and days and look at the years, to gain perspective.

After eight years of cultivating the little plum tree in the back garden, one delicate fruit finally appeared last summer.  We slivered it into fairy sized bites and savored its sweetness.
On that precious day, Emmaus whispered, "It's a miracle.  I've never seen a miracle before."
"Yes, you have," Zion said, "when you were adopted."

We'd almost lost hope in the tree, but we'd continued our work of caring for its needs unconditionally.  This summer the tiny miracle, if miracles do indeed come in sizes, grew into a lavish harvest of plums.  We'd rejoiced in the one fruit, we couldn't have imagined the bounty this summer would bring.  Few fell to the ground because in our joy we ate and shared almost every single one.  

God's purposes and plans for our children follow no human timeline.  He is doing exactly what must be done in the hearts of every single one of them to draw them to himself.  My prayer for us, you and me, is that we will have patience and remain faithful as we love and sacrifice for each person for whom God has given us to care.  And I pray that we will wait in patience, trusting God's work, his good economy and that eventually we might experience joy in the harvest.  Whatever you are facing today, with children, yourself or some other someone, trust the God of the harvest, the one who gave us the plum tree as his sweet inspiration.

27 Minutes

I found nowhere to sit in Starbucks, for my tiny window of 27 minutes of book rewriting time, but let me tell you what I saw. 

He wasn't any taller than me and was only a few years older.  He stooped yet stepped concisely, as he tucked himself into the tiniest corner available.  I saw no beverage before him.  He stared out the window through thick glasses with his emblem covered cap on his head and large earphones adjusted snuggly over his ears.  His Nascar leather jacket hung loosely over his narrow frame.

As I left, he scooted out the door ahead of me, with a look of intensity on his face.  He then immediately sat on an outdoor chair.  A car drove up to the curb, and out of the backseat climbed a lanky young man. He displayed an extra-wide grin as he struggled to steady his feet on the pavement below him.  He waved timidly and the friend who knew him greeted him back.  They were glad.  

I turned to capture the vacant seat that the first friend had left inside, but I was too late.  I'd seen what I was meant to see.  I sipped my soy latte with a lump in my throat as I walked away from their joy filled moment. 

This morning I'd read from John, "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us."  Their tender greeting, their friendship, their courage in facing this complex world with plans and purpose blessed me.  The Lord is among us.  How kind He is to draw us into loving those He loves especially tenderly; those who are described in the Beatitudes.   May we be anxious to greet each other, so glad to make time to sit together and have courage to embrace our own days in this way!  My minutes are up, I am so thankful to have shared them with you!

Remind Me

The sky in the daylight, almost as beautiful as in the night.

     At 1:23 a.m. one child needed me and then another, both had slept through the necessary bathroom visit. Then the old dog barked and dripped her way to the door. 
     As I stood on the edge of the cold porch and looked up into the night sky, awe overtook me. From background tones of deep navy, a myriad of billowy clouds, in soft gray and white spanned the heavens in full canopy, while stars twinkled as if in lively conversation with one another. Under the silent crescendo of the heavens, I felt miniscule and privileged to be invited to such a display of majesty.
     Now here is what I happened to read this morning, in the study section of my Bible in reference to the first sentence of John, "In the beginning was the Word..."
     "A deliberate echo of Ge 1:1 to link God's action in behalf of the world through Jesus Christ with his first work, the creation of the world. Word. Greek logos, a term Greeks used not only for the spoken word but also the unspoken word, the word still in the mind - the reason." (NIV)
     The reason...the unspoken belief in our spirit, that draws us to the truth, that Someone has created all that is within and without us. Sometimes I need to be awakened from deep sleep, for my soul to remind me, that in this vast universe, our Creator loves us!

   

The Pursuit of...

Yesterday morning found us car-less. Magdalene worked a double nursery shift and Dennis' patient load kept him at work until 8:00pm. My car seemed to have given up the ghost, so the only way to church was on foot (5 miles away). We prayed as we walked that someone from church (or any kind Samaritan) might see us walking and offer us a ride. Sure enough, good friends scooped us up and we arrived early! 

Later in the afternoon, the grumbling over the gardening we were doing together put me at a loss of how to teach thankfulness. After dinner, I decided we all should watch a favorite movie of mine, Pursuit of Happyness, for inspiration.

It doesn't really matter that the outward effects of the day didn't seem to show on any of the Littles. Perhaps they thought I was teaching them the fine art of hitch-hiking and how to misspell Happiness?

Whenever the teachable moments arrive, it is I who must continue to shed my preconceived idea of what life should look like. It is I who in learning trust and thankfulness continue to see God's grace overflowing. The impact of God's daily whittling on my stubborn spirit, that is far more gentle than I deserve, changes me. My job as the mom is to surrender myself to God and to trust His plans for our children. (Dennis does this well!). The way God chooses to reveal Himself to them is His to know. Grace is often unseen but always present and bountiful. It is not found in my pursuit, but present in God's love and faithfulness, even amidst my struggles...or is it 'especially' amidst them?

In this perfect picture of our life one might note that Dennis bought a dozen doughnuts as bribery.  Magdalene straightened and fussed to get us to look 'just so'.  Our friend Chris entertained to keep our eyes fixed on the camera and Elias shot a bounty of photos as I enjoyed the smell of my cold coffee.  On this side of heaven only God has the picture exactly right, but He blesses our attempts and likely chuckles at us (with us) as well!

Unconditionally

I saw this nest last week.  It reminds me that in this world of sharp edges, exposure to harsh elements, and frigid winter skies, we are not meant to huddle in fear.  Our purpose is to learn to fly!

When I was young, something horrible happened to me.  I was far from home with no way of contacting anyone.  In the months proceeding I had found that the Lord's promise of 'those who seek Him will find Him' to be true.  I had called to the Lord to fill my heart longings, to guide me and be real in my life.  His love had overcome my homesickness and struggles.  Suddenly, in the wake of cruelty and abuse, had he left me?

That next morning, I disappeared out into the woods.  I called to the Lord in anguish and He was there.  In the presence of the Lord, I found comfort, a washing of my innermost thoughts and emotions, and healing.  I silently forgave the perpetrators.  I did not understand then, the power of that act of forgiveness, but I do now.

When Jesus said from the cross, "Forgive them for they know not what they do" death had already begun to lose its power.  Jesus' example spoke the words of freedom into the depth of my being and I embraced his way, instead of becoming a victim and allowing hatred to wreck havoc in me.  The sins of those who hurt me would not shape my life, my Savior had already redeemed me through the greatest act of selflessness, man will ever know.  My freedom could not be taken away by any human act of violence.

Because of that experience, Jesus' cloak of love not only restored me, but it also covered me in the full measure of grace (God's definition with no strings attached).  I learned that it is possible to love the sinner while hating the sin.  I understood that condemnation had no place in my life and that God can heal truly any earthly sorrow.  Most importantly, I learned that forgiveness empowers us to love radically with the love of Christ in this dark world.  And in that freedom, joy everlasting, abounds.

Beloveds, I tell you this story, because of the evil we face on the frontline.  We are tempted to fear in the wake of persecution, revenge and death.  The brazen violence throughout our world appears to be insurmountable.  In Revelation 11, we are told that when the "witnesses" had completed their testimony, the Beast made war on them, conquered them and killed them.  But after three and a half days the breath of Life from God entered them.  We know the outcome and who the overcomer is!

In the end death will not prevail, but while earth endures, Jesus' love can and does change lives!  As we walk in surrender to the truth of God's Word, we shall not fear.  Perfect love casts fear out!  The remnant is strong and God is good.  This we prove in the way we live, trust and bless.   That which is filtered through God's hands, he can turn to good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose.  Love is stronger than anything else!  Jesus Christ is the fuel and the freedom through which we are empowered and under which evil will someday be extinguished.  Until that day, we rise up as a community who does not submit to fear, but walks in courage and battles evil with good.  He loves unconditionally and so can we.

              

   

Christmas Blessing

Last Sunday morning, Zion and I sat outside the church after a rough morning chatting about God, life and choices.  We created this soft scene on the hard cement while God softened the hard places in us.

Shall we reach across the minutes and miles to pause and greet each other amidst these holy days of celebration, as we welcome the Christ Child?  Let us lay down our sorrows, fear, hopelessness and hard heartedness.  With humble hearts fueled by confession and forgiveness, let us free ourselves and the people we love from dependence on  humanity and earth to fulfill our deepest longings, and trust the God of the Universe to rejuvenate our spirits through grace.  The loving arms of Jesus are held steady and strong, wide open in ready embrace.  For He knows our intimate struggles, every need and burden and loves us to the core of our being.

Come brothers and sisters, with hands held in kindred spirit desire, let us kneel in faith and lift our eyes in the belief, that He holds us and this precious earth on which we dwell in sovereign love and compassion.  As the days gather quickly to finish the year in which they were designed to serve, let us not linger in what has been, but rejoice in what is to come!  God is still creating!  We do not know all that is to be, but we know the Author of Life, who did not spare His only Son, but gave Him in ransom for our wickedness and the sins of all.

As 2015 calls us to a fresh year, let it be one in which our unity, love and the outpouring of the light of Jesus into this dark world raises up the broken and reaches the lost.  We are here with a purpose, fueled by His love, and equipped to serve for the "role-call of eternity"!

I am thankful for each of you, your willingness to read my words and the lives you lead beyond this page.  May God bless you and keep you as His face shines upon you and may Joy be your companion as you walk the path set before you!

# Love

I searched through scripture to find a strong verse for Malachi's project, one that would represent our family.  I suggested Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (NIV)  Malachi furrowed his brow, 'Oh no Mommy, it must be the love verse, because no matter what, it's always about love, that's how our family is.'

I was struck by his answer.  As the oldest of the youngest five, it is clear that the rambunctious, challenging, wild siblings often drive Malachi crazy, as he does to them as well!  Yet, denying none of the chaos and conflict, or difficult days, Malachi knows that LOVE is our center.

In the midst of our racial conflict currently causing great upheaval in many cities in the U.S. I wonder what words fuel our passions.  Perhaps a few of them are vindication, justice, and revenge.

Walk with me Friends, hear what I hear, see what I see.  As a Caucasian mother of Hispanic, Bi-racial, African and Caucasian children, you would be amazed at the responses I am given from all races at some time or another, ranging from kind to cruel. The hurtful words and mean spirited attitudes often stem from a bad experience, ignorance or fear.  My response can bless the speaker or add to their preconceived ideas, causing disunity and separation.  I refuse to give into the Enemy's plans to destroy the human race with his seeds of hatred.  I must kindly address hurtful attitudes, to uproot the weeds of racism, and then I must fill that gaping hole with a seed of love.  My words must be spoken to heal not to widen the crevice we create with our suspicious, self-protecting taking of sides against another.

Jesus said, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do."  And by them he meant me and you.  Forgiveness is the beginning of love and love is the seed of healing.

Malachi was also asked to use a picture for his project to represent his family tree.  Under the picture below, he wrote, "With adoption, our family tree is a forest!"  One tree, standing alone, cannot endure the storms of life quite so well as a forest!  To blend adoption with diversity under God's incredible gift of family is to walk first hand into the beautiful garden in which he intended us to bloom.  Drought and pestilence, seasons and pruning are all part of our earthly lives, and they are difficult to endure.  Our country is under a weighty struggle now.  But we, these trees that we are, rooted and grounded in love, can survive hard things together, not with weapons of divisive words, but through cultivating all that love represents. And we know well, that we are an exquisite landscape because of our unique characteristics and differences.

Do not allow anyone to tempt you to believe that one race is against another!  We have one enemy and he is the enemy of love.  Racism is not a tool unique to any race.  It is a knife hurled from the hand of the one who would seek to destroy us all, by separation and wounding.

It is the love verse, Malachi's wise choice, that will heal and guide us through these treacherous days. "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not LOVE, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophesy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and I have faith that can move mountains, but have not LOVE, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not LOVE, I have nothing.  LOVE is patient, LOVE is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  LOVE does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  LOVE never fails."
1 Corinthians 13: 1-8a (NIV)